When I go to meetings I always bring a journal with me. It helps keep me centered and in the present moment. It also helps me to reflect and come back to things that were said or discussed. It is a practice in mindfulness, but more about that another day.
Reviewing my journal I have come across a repeated concept. That of which a member of my community has stated,
"I am a pig," going on to explain that he "has a problem with instant gratification - P.I.G."
How profound! The first time I heard this smoke was trailing off my pen as I scribbled down the thought. I still copy this down when I hear it from time-to-time as this is a core block for my ability to cope with things in general. I have conditioned myself to immediately soothe my emotions with unproportionate rewards. I have practiced this P.I.G. (Problem with Immediate Gratification) so often that this reward to feelings of discomfort has become a habit. Like after a stressful day at work I will find myself in a drive-thru to feed my feelings. Or I will find myself adding things to my cart on Amazon because "I want it," or "deserve it." I am a huge believer in treating myself, but there are limits that need to be established.
Something I have been doing to help myself is to practice present moment awareness. It doesn't always happen before an event I hoped to avoid, but more and more I am starting to recognized what I am doing. When I notice that I have followed a habit there are some key questions I can gently ask myself:
What was the activating event? (e.g. what happened that is causing me to react in this way? Stress? Habit? Hunger? Anger?)
Is my underlying emotion trying to tell me something?
What do I need right now?
Am I able to stop? If so, I need to forgive myself and move forward rather than act to punish myself.
Part of coming to terms with accepting and then coping with emotions in lieu of a band-aid solution in the form of instant gratification is self-monitorization. I need to create healthy routines, boundaries, and limits for myself. I am still learning to do for myself past the age of 30. It is never too late to learn life skills that will benefit our lives.
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